After arranging my sordid affair a lunch date with The Hot Italian, I had three days to learn as much of the Italian language as I could. There’s no better motivation to study than the fear of awkward date silences, amiright?
All of my single (and non-single, actually) female friends were so jealous when I told them I was going to Italy. I mean, it’s Italy! Everyone knows Italy is full of tanned athletic soccer players that would make me romantic candlelit dinners and call me “bella” every five minutes.